11/29/2012 7:58 PM
I don't handle uncertainty well. I knew what to expect from the MBA recruiting process as I was once a prospective student. Ask me about Johnson Means Business 2007! Things change when you're experiencing the crushing uncertainty in its full glory. There's always a part of me that feels slightly ashamed for being eager to wrap up the process. I'm thankful and I don't my anxiousness to cloud that.
I'm so proud of my husband it borders on obnoxious. I'll be the short crazy woman at graduation with Kanon's face airbrushed on her t-shirt waving the Big Red foam finger. I tell him every day. I'm thankful that he has several options to explore. It's not surprising. He deserves it. However I'm tired. Accompanying each final round interview is the obligatory semi planning that can keep you up for nights on end.
"Is this the place? Could we live there? Will we be a destitute couch surfing family of four in this high cost of living city? Can we do this! Is this is! It's not? Oh. Well, I didn't like that place anyway...yes I did. I'll never be happy!".
I don't know if it's the same for everyone. I know I'm not the most laid back person. I'm a planner and now that I have kids I've elevated structure and preparation to a high art. Significant things need to be taken care of. It freaks me out! We have to find a home and a school for Preston. Where are we going! When will we know? It's killing me.
Upon our return from London we have a handful of months of homelessness to look forward to. We're going to visit Kanon's grandparents in Florida and take the kids to Disney World which we're obviously crazy excited about. After that? No. Idea. I'm tried to convince Kanon that a trip to the Bahamas is the best idea but he keeps Charlie Brown's mom's voice mumbling something about down payments for a house and a much needed new car. Lame.
We're still not sure what our final destination is but we do know we have twenty-four days left in Ithaca and six weeks left in the United States. Exciting things are happening and it makes the waiting slightly less difficult.
How do you manage uncertainty and anxiousness?
Veronica Armstrong is a photographer, blogger, and freelance writer whose stories spring from the cinder block walls of her married graduate student apartment. You can find her on Google+ or see more of her writing and photography on her blog.